Hooray For Saturday!

She's A Little Runaway

This morning, out of the blue, our daughter informed me that she was going to runaway and live at Grandma's house, because it is simply too messy here.

She had gone through the motions of writing a good-bye letter and picture for her mom, which I did find a little disturbing, and informed me that she would be leaving after school.

We sat down and I asked her who was the main contributor of the messes around here and she replied, "Me and my brother".  She took a couple of minutes and after some serious thought, she told me "I guess I should stick around and help him clean these messes up, so we can have a snack later!"

Funny thing is, I was thinking please take him with you.  At least for the weekend.

Men's Room Arrest

The potty training of our son has finally gotten to a point where I think I see a tiny shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I did say tiny and I have spared you few readers the gory details of potty training this young man.  If I have one thing to say it's, if I was anywhere near this hard, I'm sorry mom. 

We've gotten to where we can go out in public pretty confident that he won't have accidents while we are out, but I think I know the reason for that.  First off, I ask him to go to the bathroom about ten times before we ever leave the house.  Second off, we don't really go on trips during the day for extended periods of time.  Third off, I can't stand going into public restrooms with our kids, much less by myself.  There have been times when I have walked into a mens room, turned around and told the boy, "Oh well, try to hold it but if it happens, it happens, we'll clean you and the pants up in the van."  And finally, our children are dehydrated at all times.  Not really.

Seriously, what's going on with guys around here?  I know there is a lot of Mountain Dew consumed in this region and sometimes this guy is guilty as charged.  However, I've never thrown back so much of the caffeinated, anti-freeze colored elixir that I've completely lost aim and can't hit the urinal or toilet, much less the broad side of a barn.  Then you have the stalls, where people are clocking in and compromising not only the integrity of the porcelain, but the room in it's entirety.  Unbelievable! 

All I've got to say is that I'm not sure what is going down in the ladies room, but I'm thinking the moms might be keeping house a little better, simply because they are aware that parents have to bring their children to the bathrooms sometime.  Guys?  Forget about it.  You got dudes walking in the bathroom ripping ass before their hand can hit the stall door.  Then I've got to stand there and explain to the kids who tooted, who the stinky one is and so on.  Sometimes I really want to just point at the dude heading out the door after wrecking shop, without even thinking to wash his hands, and say, "That mother f'er there kids.  He's the stinky tooting, disgusting bastard that just lit this place up."

So needless to say I'm terrified when I have to take our daughter in the mens room.  The is nothing gentlemen about it.  It wasn't until just recently that I actually listened to what I was saying in the there one day when our daughter just couldn't wait and we all had to go in, for her to take care of some business.  After some serious house cleaning, it goes a little something like this. 

"OK, you son, up against the wall, put your hands where I can see 'em."
"Alright you lady, get your feet apart.  Put your hands on your head, don't touch anything."
"I said you, son!  Up against the wall!  Hands up, where I can see them."
"OK lady, I'm going to hold you right here.  Don't do any sudden moves!"
"Son, freeze, don't move!  Back up against that wall!"
"OK lady, do what you have to do.  No more trouble than we need."
"Mister, I need you to put your hands on your head.  Don't touch anything!"
"Alright everybody done here?  No more trouble?  Don't touch anything, keep your hands where I can see them."

No wonder I get some odd looks when the stall door opens and we come walking out.  It's like there is some serious crime going down in there, only thing is, we are the victims.  Seriously, spread the word, it's not cool to wreck shop in a public restroom.

Saturday Morning

Saturday morning my wife was taking our son to get a haircut.  A chore that no one wants, but seeing that he does better with her, than he does with me, she got the gig.

So with the wife and little man gone, I turned on the television for our daughter.  She really wanted to watch it for a little bit and I will admit, I read some news and caught up on a couple of current events.  After a few moments of hearing, in the background, some of the same stuff I've heard for the past five years, when we turn on the television for the kids, I decided it was time for something new.

Usually our kids watch Noggin, which is a commercial free channel devoted to preschool type programming.  I love that it is commercial free and the programs are fun educational type shows that our kids love, but seriously it's the same shows over and over.  Let's just say, their hasn't been a new season for a lot of the programs in the five years we have been watching on occasion.  If Noggin were to do a fund drive, say like that of our local public radio station, my wallet would be open.  Donations might come in from all across the country, from parents like myself that sometimes need that television on with no worries and no commercials, while making an important phone call or getting that last thing for dinner prepared.

Anyway, I sat down and asked our daughter if she wanted to watch something new.  So I was excited to see that Cartoon Network and Boomerang had a line-up of cartoons that were a blast from the past.  We sat down and tuned in to a last bit of Tom & Jerry, an episode of Popeye, then caught The Jetsons.  She laughed and laughed at the cat chasing the mouse, while constantly coming into harm's way, questioned what the stuff Popeye was eating and thought The Jetsons were the coolest.  Funny, I always found The Jetsons really cool and I thought for sure by now I'd be flying around in a aircraft that folded into a briefcase.

So a bit on Saturday morning made for a cool conversation between us.  I was telling her about how when I was a little kid, shows like this only came on Saturday mornings.  We didn't have fun shows on TV everyday or whenever we wanted.  I pretty much would have to wait for Saturday mornings.  She asked if it made me sad and I told her no because it always gave me something to look forward to at the end of every week.  I was always so happy when it would finally get to be Saturday morning.

I guess I've pretty much come full circle, hence the title of this blog.

Trying To Tune It Out

It's official, the kids and I are driving each other nuts.  We are currently on the sixth snow day of the past nine available school days.

It's not so much we are getting on each other's nerves, it's just our schedule is completely off.

Just a moment ago me and my daughter were having a disagreement, she looked at me and said, "Daddy, I'm closing my eyes and I can still hear you.  I'm trying not to listen to all of your talking."

I quickly started science class and went over some body parts and the senses.

A Solid Week

The call came in a few minutes ago.  It's official, tomorrow is a snow day and that makes a solid week that school has been out here.

I'm wishing I could get the keys to one of the big county snow plow trucks for the night.  I got nothing going on and after looking at the job that is getting done around here, I'll go on record and say, I think I could put a dent in some of this ice and snow around the county if I was behind the wheel.

Knowing the fleet of trucks that the county has, it's easy to wonder why they haven't done a better job at getting the roads cleared, unless it's just a question of manpower.

Time to get busy thinking of ways to burn daylight tomorrow.  We have done about everything we can in this house, four times over, to keep away from boredom.

Crying For Snow Days

Snow has finally come to Northern Kentucky.  School has been closed for the past couple of days and I'm guessing that it will be closed tomorrow.  Yesterday I questioned the snow day, seeing that the roads around us were OK and it did not snow a flake.  The only snow on the ground was a dusting from Sunday afternoon.

Along with the snow coming to town, something is has gone wrong with my eyes.  I've been pretty stopped up in the head and blowing my nose a lot, but last night and today my eyes have been watering non-stop.  I've been crying more than a gaggle of middle aged ladies watching the movie "Beaches".  They will not stop watering. 

It's awkward, because my kids keep asking me why I'm crying.  Is it wrong to tell them I'm crying because they didn't eat all their breakfast, clean their room or won't stop fighting?  I'm sure I'll be using it against them before the day is done, but hey, we are snowed in with cabin fever.

This morning I've had nothing but the lyrics of The Guess Who going through my head. So I can only hope this stops soon, that is The Guess Who lyrics going through my head.  The tears streaming down my face would be a big bonus. 

Is there a doctor in the house?  This is crazy.

Documenting The Inauguration

These two were only half impressed with having to watch news on television.  Becoming bored, our daughter decided to go and document the day on her own.

This is President Obama and the Washington Monument with fireworks going off in celebration.

This is The First Family, Barack, Sasha, Michelle & Malia Obama.  Fireworks are going off again for celebration.

She's Not Packing Heat Or Water

Doodlebug received a bag of goodies in her class today.  It was a young man's birthday and he passed out goodie bags to everyone in the class, which I thought was against the rules but not the point.

Anyway, as she was unpacking the tiny sack, full of mostly candy, she pulled out a gun.  Mind you it was a tiny water gun, but a gun no less.  She looked at me and said, "Dad, what is this?"  I told her it was a silly plastic toy.  She informed me that she didn't need it and I could have it.

I know I might sound goofy here, especially in our surroundings and in these times, but I was so glad our kindergarten daughter had no idea what a gun was or looks like.  One thing I've always wanted to maintain in our kids is a sense of childhood innocence for as long as we can, simply because nowadays it seems to go so quickly.

Channeling MacGyver

I channeled MacGyver today.

No, I didn't defuse a bomb with a shoe string, some bubble gum, two fingernails and a penny.

I was rinsing out the lunch dishes in the kitchen sink, when I flipped the switch that turned on the garbage disposal and an awful noise started grinding about.  I flipped off the switch to the disposal and shut off the water into the sink, thinking who knows what in the world could be in the dark depths of yuck. 

I grabbed a flashlight from the top of the refrigerator and shined it into the drain opening.  Much to my surprise there was one of those little hard plastic medicine cups that had been rinsed down into the grinding jaws of death in our sink and was shattered into about 20 pieces.

I had to get all the pieces out to not screw up the drain and stop the awful noise.  A dad had to make due with what was available to him. 

I placed spring loaded tongs into the rubber opening of the drain to hold it open, took a pencil that was on the window sill, put a drop of honey (from the bear that was still on the counter from lunch) on the eraser and pressed the honey covered eraser on to the pieces of plastic in the disposal.  Each piece stuck to the honey and was able to be fished out of the drain, saving the world.

Tomorrow I start growing the mullet.

Tacky And Sticky Paper

This past weekend, while my wife and children were away in Chicago, I tackled a project that has been near the top of the list of things to do since we moved into our current house, removing wallpaper.

Notice I said our current house, not home.  For you see, ever since we moved from Chicago to the northern Kentucky suburbs of Cincinnati, I haven't felt like I was home.  We bought our house in the winter, we were super stressed from our son being born pre-mature and the relocation of my wife to her current office had to happen quickly, so we just kind of feel into this house and figured worst case, we could get the lay of the land the following spring, sell and move if need be.  That was right when the housing values started to collapse.  So with home values in the gutter and the economy in the sewer, here we are.  With that being said, who wants to really sink money into a home fixing it up, when it's value is tanking?

I do.  I've got the bug now to make this house our home.  My wife doesn't mind the house, she likes it, but she is with me on wanting to paint now and change a few things around. 

So the project started in the front door entry way and up the stairs.  The previous owners liked the ragged on painting style so much, they got wallpaper that looked like faux ragged on painting.  I am not sure why they didn't pay someone to do that style of painting, instead of paying someone to hang the wallpaper that looked like they paid someone to paint that style.  Follow?  It would have been much easier to fix for them, much less me, if they grew tired of it.  Simply prime over it.  But no, wallpaper they did.

As a bonus, it was vinyl wallpaper with paper backing, meaning I had to peel the outer layer completely off prior to being able to so soak the fibers to soften the adhesive and scrap off.  Peeling away the outer vinyl layer was like peeling sunburned skin.  When I was a kid I used to get sunburned all the time and my fair skin would peel away in pieces.  It was rather disgusting, but satisfying at the same time.  At times I would get a rather large swath peeling away, only to have it tear away and then have to start picking away at another tiny corner, with hopes of getting another swath going.  It was the same way for the wallpaper.  Gross, right?  This took forever and was by far the hardest part of the project. 

Once the outer part was peeled all away, I busted out the garden sprayer and soaked sections of the wall with a solution of hot water and a bit of fabric softener.  This mixture worked wonders on the paper fiber, adhesive backed, portion of the wallpaper.  That part went relatively smooth and quick, compared to the beginning stage, however I did create a huge mess by just slinging the moist, peeled portions to the floor.  Sometimes hitting the drop cloth, sometimes not. 

I did have some help from a friend, who is much lighter than me, getting the highest portion of the inner stairwell at the top of the ladder.  As my rotund body went higher on the ladder, towards the second floor ceiling, I started to worry about the integrity of the drywall that the ladder was leaning against, but at that moment this friend called.  He wasn't up to much and said he would stop by to lend moral support.  He climbed up and knocked out the highest point, which helped in a big way.  He, along with the friend that let me borrow the ladder, was rewarded with cold beer and hot tacos at a local joint for lunch.  That was good times. 

The outer layer and the clean up were the most annoying portions of the project, but I am very happy I decided to do it.  I now have the motivation to tackle the rest of the projects around here and start to make this our home.

For the record, wallpaper sucks ass and what couple that is under that age of 55 has wallpaper put up in their home?  The people that owned this house prior to us, geesh.