The Band

  • Kevin, The Dad ~ Lead Vocals
  • The Lady ~ Income, Budget, Vocals
  • Doodlebug, Five Year Old Daughter ~ Vocals, Big Yellow Horn, Magic Wand Guitar
  • The Little Man, Three Year Old Son ~ Alligator Piano, Various Percussion, Ear Tubes
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported

Health

Sunday, December 09, 2007

New Year's Reminder

The basement is the hybrid room of our house.  It serves as a playroom for the kids, the computer desk area and a television viewing area.  Today we had a family meeting in the basement to go through the stuff that has accumulated down there.  We went through the toys and decided that some of them would make other children happy this time of year.

So we packed up a few bags of stuff, mostly Little People sets, and loaded them in the van to drop off tomorrow at the Northern Kentucky Community Action Commision, which is a organization that works to move members of our community out of poverty through education, opportunities for self-reliance and personal growth.  I am certain they will be able to find folks that could use toys this time of year.

I had to run a few errands today, so I hoped in the van to go take care of them.  While out on my ride, from the back of the vehicle was coming a sound when I made certain turns or stops on the road.  The sound was coming from the farm playset.  The sound started right as I was thinking of stopping in at a local drive-thru to grab a burger.  The sound, you ask?  "Oink! Oink! Oink!"

I didn't go get the burger.  Perhaps I should leave this toy in the back of the van, to help me think about the fact that I need to drop the weight of two third graders next year.

---------

On another note, the steady rain this weekend is helping to keep our holiday season green.  Not by watering the plants, but by not allowing me to put up lights all over our front yard and use up a bunch of electricity.  As of right now, I really don't mind.  However, it's not going over very well with the children seeing that some of our neighbors have gone Griswald.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Right In The Kisser

It's that time of year again.  The temperature is getting cooler and the air is getting dryer, which for me brings on chapped lips.

It's crazy how often I put some type of moisturizer on my lips, however every time I smile or, heaven forbid, open my mouth to eat something, my lips crack like a thin wine glass.

I have tried a lot of different products on my lips and the one thing they all have in common, is that they disappear before I am done with them.  I think it's safe to say that I have never once come to the end of a stick, bottom of a tiny tub or squeezed the last bit from a tube of anything that would help to prevent my lips from chapping. 

What gives?  How can a grown man lose something he uses on a daily basis?  I'm thinking we've got some type of conspiracy going on here.  The lip moisturizer people are sending in people to take my sticks, tubs or tubes away when I'm not looking and it's chapping something more than my lips.

I should just shut up, stop whining, and go buy some stock in companies that make this type of product.  As long as I'm around, they will be making money on me about twice a week.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Culture Shock

So we are fast approaching the first year anniversary of our relocation from Chicagoland, USA to the Northern Kentucky suburbs of Cincinnati, OH and the culture shock has set in hardcore for me.  I think a long, cold February could be a little to blame, perhaps it's more cabin fever than culture shock.

No, it's culture shock.

During the day in Northern Kentucky I have come to find that we are out there with a large senior crowd and from what I gather, the majority of this crowd smokes like a chimney.  Sure, there are full time parents in minivans also, but there are a lot of senior citizens on the road that are one of two things; in a hurry to get to work or in no hurry to get anywhere.  So the traffic patterns are a little goofy sometimes, not very predictable other than typical rush hours.

It's weird seeing older folks in workplaces that I have been accustomed to seeing younger aged people in.  This by no means is to insult those that are working for a living, need I remind you I don't get paid, they are bringing home the bacon. 

In dealing with some of these fine folks I have come to find that some of them are happy as larks and others, well let's just say they are quite surly.

Take for instance the lady working the McDonald's drive thru window in the morning, she is an absolute sweetheart.  I usually go through there on Tuesday morning, sausage biscuit Tuesday. We can get in a conversation about the weather, The Little Man, what are the plans of the day, and any Flo, KY current events in the time it takes to exchange my money and send me on my way with a, "Have a good day, Honey!"  I used to buy a newspaper on the corner of Lincoln & Peterson in Chicago everyday from a man and he was the same way.  He could toss the paper on my dash, I would hand him a dollar, and we could exchange opinions on the Cubs sucking all without me coming to a complete stop to get through the traffic light.  I got to the point where I would slow down to catch the light just to talk sports with the guy, William.  I miss William, but now I have sausage biscuit Tuesday lady.  I'm going to make a point to get her name, but not eat sausage biscuits everyday.

Then we have the older lady that is a grocery store check-out person.  The children and I go to the grocery store about three times a week.  People here cannot figure that out at all, most people do this huge giant grocery trip once a week or every other week.  I couldn't do that, the bill would be a thousand dollars.  I kind of plan what's for dinner then go pick out stuff to prepare it, plus the kids like going to the store.  I do look at the sale papers and will go buy stuff on sale at different places that I know we need and can be in the pantry for a while, but for the most part we go to one store.  I know, it's crazy but it works for me and I fancy myself as quite a bargain hunter, whatever.  Back to our girl at the check out.  Perhaps that is why she is so surly towards us because we are in there all the time?  I try to be jovial at all times and the kids are well behaved and aren't puking on the conveyor, so what gives?  This lady always states that I have my hands full with two children and is good for some lame comment about me being with the kids when I should be working.  I always let her know I'm full time parent and she gives me the eye roll and says something to insinuate that I don't do anything.  I don't know whether to stop going in her line or next time just go give her a big hug and let her know we aren't going anywhere.  I'm sure she would love that.  I thought she might just hate the fact that she's a work, but I've witnessed her chatting up other folks and being happy outside, around the giant ashtray. 

That brings me back to the smoking in Northern Kentucky.  I'm not telling people not to smoke, hey, smoke 'em if you got 'em.  I do, however, wish that those people that smoke would consider other things and people around them.  I can't tell you how many times a day I see people flinging cigarette butts out of their cars.  I've seen people do what I just don't get at all, stop at a traffic light, open the car door and empty their ashtray right into the street.  WTF?  This area is home to some really beautiful land, creeks, & ponds with cigarette butts all over the place.  It's not right, but you can expect that from a big urban area with millions of people, but where we are now it kind of floors me. 

Here was my thought process on not smoking.  When I was a kid I brushed up against some woman that was smoking in the grocery store or somewhere (shows how old I am, they used to smoke everywhere) and it burnt the piss out of my arm.  I remember how hot the end of that cigarette was and noticed that when people smoke they suck on the cigarette like a straw, so the air that is passing through that hot end, that burnt my arm, has to be really hot.  I didn't want any part of that and that's why I have never smoked.

This post has kind of turned into my stance on smoking.  I'm not telling people not to smoke, that's their business, but please be considerate of others and the common space around them.  I mean, I could fart anytime I wanted, but I just think about others and the surroundings first.

So it's a little culture shock to see that there are so many smokers here and the litter that they produce in a beautiful part of the country.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Gator In The Potty

Yikes_2 Long ago there was legend that there were alligators in some sewers.

Would it not suck to be in this predicament? 

There you are compromising the integrity of the bathroom and up pops a alligator from the tub drain.

That's enough to scare it out of you!

Monday, March 05, 2007

This just in...

I just coughed up a lung.

If I could ever stop coughing I would try to humor you folks, but as of right now I need to continue to cover my mouth.

I have come to the conclusion that someone slipped the skin from a kernel of popcorn right on the underside of my epiglottis while I was sleeping a couple of nights ago.

I will return soon.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

It's tubular, totally!

  • Pharmacy $154.16
  • Supplies $247.00
  • Operating Room Services $1000.00
  • Anesthesia $204.00
  • Recovery Room $318.00
  • Total $1,923.16

That is money well spent.

Tomorrow will make three weeks that The Little Man has had tubes in his ears.  Every time I mention it, think about it, or even look at him, the song She's a Beauty by The Tubes starts playing in my head.  I know, ridiculous.

I have a lot of songs in the old noggin that, in an instance, can be played through the internal speakers.  Some of them I love and enjoy, others I always think to myself, "WTF, why do you know that!?".  No matter what, they can always put me back in a certain time or place. 

Ok, enough sounding like the country music pretty boy, Kenny Chesney.

The Little Man showed up to the party three months early (born premature) and is doing fine now.  I surely will be addressing that in the posts of this blog in the future.  But for now, he had ear infections basically at the rate of the general public seeing or hearing about vaginas on so-called starlets.   

So and so didn't have underpants on when she decided to trip the light fantastic last night on the Hollywood Strip, The Little Man has an ear infection.  See a blacked or blurred out beaver shot, and The Little Man has an ear infection.  Got it?  Frequently.

So after a few short medical huddles we decided ear tubes were the way to go for him.  It's been awesome so far.  Before I had to suck so much snot out of the guy that I was thinking about bottling it and selling it as glue.  Now a couple of wipes in the morning, maybe a blow in the afternoon and presto, he's singing like a songbird.

The difference so far is rewarding, even if I am humming some lame-ass song by The Tubes.  At least I'm not this guy, actually wanting to sing it.

This morning as I was thinking up this post, I heard this story on National Public Radio.  It can explain ear tubes far more professionally.

Compared to the prices told in the NPR story it sounds like Cincinnati Children's Hospital is having deals on ear tubes. 

Get Your Tubes, On Sale Now!!!  Don't Wait!!!  This Cold & Flu Season Only!!! 

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